Mom's revenge.

I love my kidlet, but oh mah GAH can that kid talk! Every morning and evening in the car he asks questions for literally the entire ride without stopping. On occasion he'll get playing with something or singing and he'll be able to self-occupy, but most often it's questions, questions, questions. I don't mind answering the first twenty or so, but then it starts to get wearing, especially as he wants whoever is in the passenger seat to turn around and look at him while talking. Right around turn-around time #21 I start feeling queasy.

"Mommy, what doing?"
"Mommy riding?"
"Mommy riding in car?"
"Mommy, look - car!"
"Mommy, big car?"
"Mommy, big car drive?"
"Mommy, people drive big car?"
"Mommy, big car drive?"
"Mommy, people go home?"
"Mommy tired?"
"Daddy tired?"
"Michael tired."
*yawwwn*
"Mommy, see seagull?"
"Mommy, seagull up in the sky?"
"Mommy, blue balloon in sky?"
"Mommy, seagull get blue balloon?"
"Mommy, seagull miss mommy daddy?"

...well, you get the point. In addition, if he's not happy with our response or the enthusiasm with which it is offered, he'll just keep asking the same question over and over again until he gets the desired result.

Most days I can handle it, but some days it drives me bonkers.

This morning I said to him, "Darling, you know I love you more than anything in the world, and I love talking to you. But Mommy can't turn around to talk to you any more or else she's going to throw up. Could you tell me a story instead? I'd love to hear a story."

"No."

*sigh*

I understand now why adults would get so impatient with me when I was a child, as I NEVER SHUT UP. I'm sure getting my comeuppance now!

Asian women love white babies.

Last night we ended up getting sushi at a really cool place we had never been, and of course all of the waitresses loved little Michael. I don't know what it is about red-headed white babies, but Asian folks just love em. I realize how racist that sounds, but every time we go to an Asian restaurant the kidlet is a huge hit with the people there. More than a few places we frequent, within minutes he'll be snatched up by a comely female staffperson and whisked away to the kitchen to visit the cooks. They always want to give him sweets, too, which I don't understand. Maybe it's a cultural thing, or they think it's a cultural thing for Americans? In any case, kidlet has made us more friends at places...I never feel nearly cool enough to be hanging out with him.

Last night was no exception. Within ten minutes Michael had four waitresses eating out of his hand. They all came over to talk to him and touch his hair, he was just loving the attention. At one point he was being very hyper and daddy Michael told him, "Michael, please stop being naughty, when we're in a restaurant you need to be quiet and sit down." I don't really agree with his telling kidlet that he's "naughty", and I certainly don't let him get away with calling kidlet "bad" (he's done it a few times, but not lately after we talked about it). One of the waitresses came by a minute later and kidlet said, "Mommy Daddy say Michael naughty. Mommy Daddy say 'Michael, sit down!'" The days of strictly censoring ourselves has begun.

Overall we had a very lovely meal, both the food and the service were excellent. Kidlet got to practice eating with chopsticks, and I have to say that he's getting pretty good at it. Of course as soon as they saw him using chopsticks, his fan club of adoring Japanese women was back. Our waitress has a three-month old son, so we talked to her a little bit about having children. And of course she looks fantastic only three months after having a baby. Hmph.

Wah!

Tonight I put kidlet to bed by giving him a cup of water, carrying him into the bedroom, getting him settled on the pillow, pulling the blankets up, tucking in a few stuffed animals, kissing him, saying goodnight, and leaving. Seriously. Kid went to sleep, ON HIS OWN, and I didn't have to even be there with him. I was surprised! I guess he's growing up.





WAH!

Assorted

wednesday

I'm doing much better today. Still snuffly, but it's mostly inside my head so I just sound worse than I feel. Hopefully my sinuses will drain in the next day or so and I'll be back to normal.

This morning when I left home it was sunny and chilly. Now when I look outside it's grey. Then two minutes later I look outside and it's snowing, and one minute after that I look and it's stopped. New England weather. Gotta love it.

- an hour later -

It's sunny again. Weirdness.

The deal with the strawberry shortcake wasn't that kidlet realized he wasn't the center of the universe (because he still is), but that daddy Michael said "No" to him so quickly and without thinking...now, adults like you and I understand the finer points of speech, but toddlers do not. Saying "No, this is for Mommy," didn't imply to kidlet that he might be able to get his own, instead it said to him, "No, I am rejecting you." So the onus lies on us as parents to be cautious about how we use language with him until he understands its full meaning.

In my opinion it's the same thing with humor and horseplay...when kidlet was around eight months old we stopped doing the "I'm going to eat your (arm, leg, belly, whatever)" because at the time we were teaching him not to bite. You can't teach a kid not to bite by turning around and showing them that it's all right to play at biting. We also don't make jokes with him that aren't obvious, and we always make sure he knows when we are joking and when we are serious. I try to look at things through his eyes, never having seen things before, and realized that a lot of things can be misconstrued.

I get really sad when I see little kids with toy guns and knives and the like...before I was a parent I didn't see why people got so upset about so-called "violent" toys. I thought that the parents could teach the kid that it's a toy and how to play appropriately with it. But now I realize that knives and guns should NEVER be toys, that's not what they're about. And that is something I don't want to expose my son to until he's ready to understand just what these things do. He already knows that knives are sharp and can hurt people, and I suspect that soon we'll be having the gun discussion even though we have no guns in the house and he never goes places that have guns.

- day passes -

thursday
That was from yesterday, this is today.

Last night when we went to the daycare to pick up kidlet I entered the room and saw him quite happily flitting about in a Disney Princess dress (I think it was Snow White's) and someone had French braided his hair. He was very cute. He walked up to me with a sparkly pink toy cell phone in one hand and started shouting, "Mommy! Mommy! Lights moving! Shoes! SHOES!" while dragging me to the window. I looked out the window and it took me a moment to figure out that he was talking about the flashing red lights over a crosswalk down the street, and not far from that, hanging from the power lines, were a pair of white sneakers.

On the way home daddy Michael and I got talking about the "Ohhhhh! MEEEEE?" incident of the other night and kidlet piped up, "Ohhh - meee?" (thoughtful pause) "Daddy said no." We exchanged a look and I said to him, "Daddy wasn't saying no to you, honey, daddy loves you very much." Kidlet again said quietly, "Daddy said no," and looked dejected. Daddy reiterated to kidlet that he does love him very much and that seemed to satisfy him a little. I said to daddy Michael, "That kid picks up on everything, doesn't he?"

- another day passes -

friday
Man, where does the time go? I had other stuff to talk about that I've since forgotten. Oh well, it's not like I'll never write again...I always find something to babble on about.

Have a good weekend.

Today is a momentous day.

*fanfare*



Now, this certainly isn't the first time kidlet's gone pee in the potty. Kid knows how to do it, he just chooses not to most of the time. BUT, this is the beginning of our actively acknowledging and encouraging it.

During his bath tonight he started shouting, "Pee! Pee!" and clutching his penis, so daddy Michael was able to get him out of the tub and on the toilet in time for him to do his business. Then, after his bath, we were sitting watching TMBG Here Come The ABCs when he did it again, grabbed his penis and shouted, "Pee, Mommy! Pee!" We quickly put him on his little potty and he peed again. That got me thinking that maybe it was time.

I'd always heard that incentives can help a child learn to use the toilet, and until now I'd been waiting for a clear indication that Michael was ready to take that step. I decided to try it out.

A few weeks ago while we were at Office Depot kidlet spotted these stickers and really wanted them. I bought them but told him that I would save them for a special treat (learning to use the toilet was what I had in mind, in fact). I brought out the stickers and the sheet of paper you see above, then explained to Michael that every time he went pee or poop in the potty, he would get a sticker to put on his sheet. He got extremely excited about this concept so I had a feeling it might be the right time.

As he had just peed, I gave him one sticker and he put it on - his first one! On the sheet the little fire trucks, rescue planes, and police cars are all pretty small, except for one BIG 3" fire truck sticker. Did I mention that kidlet is absolutely gaga for fire trucks these days? He wanted that one, but I said, "That's a BIG fire engine, Michael - you get that one when you make a BIG poop in the potty."

"Michael poop in potty!" he shouted, and ran back to the potty where he sat for about fifteen minutes. At first he was straining and I told him to relax, that whenever he had to poop was fine, he didn't have to do it right NOW. He grunted and said, "Poop...coming...out!" It wasn't. But he sure thought he could will it to be so. It was funny.

I got a few pictures of him on the potty because I had just brushed his hair and it was so pretty. For those people who ask, "When are you going to cut his hair?" I want to show them this and say, "How COULD we - just look at it!"





I like this one...he was trying to keep me from taking a picture of his face so I held the camera out around him to get this shot. He is Not Amused.


Then he laughed at me and tried to grab the camera. He looks goofy but I like this face because it's genuine:


After he sat on the potty for a while, he got up to show off his sticker for me.


Then, as daddy Michael came downstairs, kidlet excitedly told him about the sticker, too. I like this picture because you can see the ring on kidlet's butt from sitting on the pot for too long:


Incidentally he peed again after I took these pictures, so now he has two fire engines under 'PEE'. He keeps looking at that big fire truck sticker longingly, though. I don't think it'll be long before he earns it.

I asked him if he wanted to wear underwear or a diaper, and he said "Diaper," doubtfully. I explained to him that if he woke up in the night and wanted to use the potty, to let Mommy or Daddy know and we would help him take off his diaper and use the potty. That seemed to satisfy him. Now I guess we'll see if he does.

I felt very encouraged by this development. Like any parent, we've been wondering when kidlet would start to learn to use the toilet, and of course hoping it would happen soon. However we didn't want to force him into it if he wasn't ready. I think he might really be ready now, he was really psyched about those stickers and fortunately I have eight sheets of them.

Those fragile toddler egoes.

I knew that the fragile ego would soon come to pass, and it has. Kidlet is very sensitive these days. Most recently he's decided he's afraid of dark rooms. He says, "Mommy, Michael scared," if there's no light on. I've dealt with this somewhat by telling him to scare away scary things with the stuffed Fluffulu I got for him, as Fluffulu is a nice monster who will protect him. All he has to do is hold Fluffulu out and go "RAAARRRRGH!" when he's scared. That's working for now.

Last night, however, Daddy Michael came home not with Chips Ahoy like I asked him to, but instead with strawberries and whipped cream. I was annoyed at him at first, but in retrospect he was doing me a favor, anyway...

After dinner, of which I ate very little, I was sitting on the couch trying not to think about how miserable I felt when Daddy Michael came in and asked if I wanted some strawberry shortcake. He knows I have a weakness for this, I love those buttermilk biscuits (don't ever try to pass off those crappy "angel food shells" on me, that's not real strawberry shortcake!) so of course I said yes! He warmed my biscuit in the oven (awww), and put an impressive tower of whipped cream on the top. As he walked through the dining room, kidlet went to the door of the living room and in a super excited voice said, "Ohhhhh! MEEE?!" Daddy Michael said, "No, this is for Mommy, she doesn't feel good."

The look on kidlet's face could have made Charles Manson weep. At first I thought he was just pouting, but it became very clear very quickly that he was extremely upset. I said, "Michael, do you want to share with Mommy?" and he silently shook his head no. Daddy Michael asked him, "Would you like Daddy to make one for you?" and again, the headshake no. I said, "Michael, make one for him." "He doesn't want one," he said, and I replied, "No, you'd better make him one." We were both staring at kidlet while this conversation took place.

Kidlet stared at us for a long moment, and I said, "Are you okay, baby?" and then his face crumpled up and he ran to daddy, wailing. Daddy held him for a minute, then I took him while daddy went off to make another strawberry shortcake. Poor kidlet's body was wracked with sobs, this wasn't simple manipulation. It was obvious that the poor kid felt rejected. He was SO excited when he saw Daddy with the dessert and then SO crushed when told "No, it's not for you." I felt terrible.

Daddy Michael returned with a mini strawberry shortcake in one of Michael's teeny bowls and he quietly accepted it, then sort of stared at it. He still seemed pretty dejected. We talked to him some more to cheer him up, then he was able to eat it and was happier.

I remember as a child feeling mightily dejected in similar situations, so it's obvious to me that we have to start being careful with how we throw around "no" with kidlet now. He's started taking things personally and we don't want to make him think it's HIM being rejected.

It was a funny-yet-heartbreaking situation.

Sleep, how I love thee.

In other news, kidlet has been going to bed so well this week. I swear he's been swapped out for someone else. On Tuesday night I got him in his jammies (we always say "Ready to jam in your jammies?") and said, "Okay, time for bed!" and he walked to the bedroom, asked for his baby Cookie Monster and his doggie and a cup of water, then lay down and said, "Mommy, lay down with Michael!" I lay down next to him with my head propped up on one arm and he waved his hand at me, saying, "No, no - Mommy lay down - lay head down." I got under the covers and snuggled up to him, after a few minutes of him positioning me with my arm over his body, then over his legs, then off of him completely, then my hand on his head until he was satisfied, then he just went to sleep. I was able to get out of bed after about five minutes and that was it.

!!!!!

Last night, we went to bed together as I was falling asleep sitting on the couch. We snuggled up together and after the requisite few minutes of positioning me, he nodded off. Amusingly before we went to sleep we had an argument - got settled in and then he dropped his cup off the edge of the bed on his side.

"Mommy...reach Michael's cup."
"Michael, Mommy is sleeping. Get the cup yourself."
"No, you get it."
"No, you get it."
"No, you get it."
"Forget it, Michael, Mommy is sleeping."
"You get it."
"Nuh uh!"
"*grumble*"

The last two nights I've been getting plenty of sleep (7 and 9 hours, respecively) but I still feel like toasted horse manure when I wake up in the morning. I'm not sure if I'm being roused in the middle of a REM cycle or I've just been sleep deprived for so long that it's taking some time to recover, but I sure as heck hope this doesn't go on for much longer. I neeeed my sleeeep!