Kidpoints

- Found mysterious pliable white lump on kidlet's penis under his foreskin. Immediately thought "PENIS CANCER!!!!" but after doing some reading realized it was smegma. What a lovely word, smegma. It's perfectly normal and will come out on its own as his foreskin goes through the process of detaching from the glans. I feel a little silly for overreacting, but not knowing anyone (but my son) who is intact I had no one to ask.

- Found it very hard to Google the phrase "penis toddler smegma" without fearing a pedophile watchdog group breaking down my door at work.

- Found that the majority of websites addressing caring for the intact penis and anti-circumcision will, without fail, put a huge color photo of at least one erect penis at the very top of the page for optimal display at work right when your boss is walking by.

- Kidlet is WHINY lately. I don't know what's up with that. We're doing our best to ignore the whining and not acknowledge it as a negotiation tactic. We ask him to use his words and I've even gotten him to sign a few things when he's too upset to talk. I think it's a growth spurt, because he's so moody! Everything is a major issue.

Some examples of the terrible things that happen to my son to cause him such tragedy:

"Michael, it's time for you to get dressed."
"WAAAAAAHHHH!"

"Michael, let's eat - it's time for dinner."
"OWOOOOOOOOOOAAAAHHHH!"

"WAH! WAAAAAHH!"
"Would you like some milk?"
"WAAAAAHHHHH" (nodding)
"Okay, let me lift my shirt..."
"WAAAAAHHH!"
"Hold on, hold on! It's coming! Relax!"
"WAAAAAHHHHHHHmmph!"

"Kiddie! Kiddie!"
(lays on cat, cat runs away)
"You scared the kitty, let's play with this toy instead."
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHKIDDIEWAAAAKIIIIDDIEEEEEE!"

I think you get the idea. My child leads such a terrible and unstable life.